i cant really explain how much religion can fk u up if u grow up in a place where they figuratively OD on it. this mess is just as much ingrained in me as fighting and rapping maybe even more so since it started earlier. by the age of 11 tho i knew something wasn't right so i launched my own internal investigation. it was too many girls falling out the sky for me to fully abandon it early but once i got past the lustful stage it was a wrap. respect to all who stay for convenience and a sense of fulfillment but this (that) aint it.
audio note: this a grimey azz Jansport J beat with an unmixable bassline i do apologize in advance.
street note: also Lil Sodi passed after i recorded this verse and i tried to insert it but the tone didn't match so i left it how it was. TIP.

Lyrics

I'm Really tryina figure out what life is giving
I’m exerting this energy wit the right intention
blew a decade on **** wasn’t the right commitment
Taught my shallow eyes make better life decisions
Kobe and Nipsey(SODI) got taken right out of existence
So I ain’t beggin for permission or asking forgiveness
Real nigga no subs or passive resistance
How can I teach business
No class attendance
niggaz still in detention
on suspension
Still zero comprehension
No retention
How long u planning on slummin stayin one of the henchman
on the dark side of 30 who paying attention
I can see the reaper circling making his visits
Cancer settin in earlier claiming his victims
Overdosing on prescriptions
Devout Christians
God it make me wonder if u even listen
Please

1:04
And I been sitting up all night
Feeling like I been lied to my whole life
Feeling like I been lied to my whole life
Wonder why if I don’t like u it’s on sight
X2

Me and my grandmother used to be close
Til we suffered a separation most usually don’t//
Religion poseta unify its truthfully broke
Told my brother to kiss my mother I ain’t stupid he won’t
And it’s coo in the grand scheme of things
I would hope
I don’t perish from the memories that make it hard to cope
Less than plausible it’s audible
This shit is all I know
Reading second chronicles (hmm)
Something seemin’ illogical
Ask one too many questions they call u prodigal
Spent my twenties chasin exoticals bein thottable
Now I spend my muthafuccin 30s bein volatile
Hiding from the devil but Holy Spirit is watching you
Pray on my knees like,yo, who am I talking to?
Subtle signs, stupid hints and option clues
Basically u sayin salvation impossible
But look at all the hoops these niggaz hoppin thru